


a guide for idiots (on life)

by WithYourRhythm



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Gen, Idiots in Love, M/M, Magic-Users, Naruto Secret Santa 2018, Protective Older Brothers, Secret Relationship, Siblings, Summoning Circles, bad communication skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-24 03:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17093207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithYourRhythm/pseuds/WithYourRhythm
Summary: It's too early for this,he thinks again, and he hasn't even managed to get a cup of coffee yet. It'll be a long day for him, this much is obvious already.





	a guide for idiots (on life)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amihan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amihan/gifts).



> This is my gift to Amihan for the Naruto Secret Santa 2018! Hope you enjoy reading it, and have a nice holiday~

“For the last time, Itama, you can't just summon a god and expect them to obey your wishes.”   
  


Itama frowns, obviously not convinced, “But Tobi-”

  
“No.” Tobirama's voice stays unimpressed as he massages his temples, “You're spending way too much time with Hashirama. Why do I have to be the only sensible one in this family?”

  
_ It's too early for this, _ he thinks again, and he hasn't even managed to get a cup of coffee yet. It'll be a long day for him, this much is obvious already.

  
His brother whines, bottom lip sticking out and eyes teary, “You don't even listen-”

  
Tobirama interrupts once more, “You don't say anything that I can bear to listen to. I have a new project, Itama, and if this comes off as how I planned, Academy can expand its sensory area twice!” He takes a deep breath, keeping his voice low, “I don't have time for this, you don't have time for this, you have a lesson in two minutes. Go to your class. Sakumo-san informed me that if you’re late to his class one more time, he’s going to punish you.”

  
Itama hesitates, “Detention?”

  
Tobirama lets out the breath he's holding, “No, cleaning the bathrooms of the third floor.”

  
Itama blanches and disappears before Tobirama can finish his sentence, which is what Tobirama expects anyway. Third and fourth floor belongs to demons. They are good students, but Tobirama would never volunteer to clean their bathroom.

  
He turns towards his previously planned destination once again. Nohara Rin, one of Tsunade’s students from the graduation class, asked for his presence at her own class for basic medical knowledge, and before Itama interrupted him, he had time to walk, but now he has to teleport if he doesn’t want to miss the beginning of the class.

  
He loves his brother. He truly does, but it’s just-

  
Itama is more of a dreamer than Tobirama will ever be. He believes that doing things he’s forbidden to do can bring him good things. Tobirama would never let him harm himself, but it's harder to protect them when they don't want to be protected.

 

Once Itama graduates, he will be given permission to create summoning circles anyway. But for now, he has to finish his ‘Summoning: A Guide For Idiots’ book Tobirama gave him for his birthday. It even has many little notes and shortcuts written on the corners of its pages by Tobirama himself, and summoning one of his expertises, so Itama can’t find anything better to learn summoning from for now.

 

Though, Tobirama still can’t understand why Itama wants to pass the ‘Caution’ page without reading it. But that's not a problem he needs to worry about now. Itama will listen to him. Hopefully.

 

Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes and pulls his magic in, his Hiraishin marks reaching for him, blurry sparks lighting up the back of his mind. One at Genma’s Poison class, two more at Magical Creatures class Sakumo is using at the moment, another one on Hikaku’s forearm, moving down the stairs-   
  
“Tobirama-sama!”   
  
Tobirama sighs and lets his concentration fade. 

 

He's going to be late, it seems.

 

Turning towards the voice, he talks with weariness decorating his voice. “Yes, how can I help you-” He looks at the gate guard's face, recognizing him, “Izumo-san?”   
  
The man stumbles, almost falling as if he doesn't expect Tobirama to know his name, but his companion helps him to keep his balance.

 

Tobirama lifts an eyebrow. He never understands why people keep reacting like that when he’s being polite. They don't do it when Hashirama remembers their name, either.   
  
Izumo blushes half-heartedly and squeaks out a high pitched, “Sorry!” to his companion. The other guard, though, doesn't miss a beat, “Excuse us for interrupting, Tobirama-sama, but there’s a problem with your-”   
  
Izumo helps when Kotetsu's voice becomes smaller, “We have no idea what it is, but Mito-sama says they belong to you!”   
  
“What happened?” Tobirama asks, slightly worried. He can be busy, but if someone touched his belongings, or worse, his lab materials, he has to look into it. People can blow up a part of the Academy with those things, Hiruzen proved that a few months ago very well.   
  
“We don't know what exactly happened-” Kotetsu says, unsure.   
  
“Actually, I think I know!” Izumo interrupts, letting Kotetsu's arm go, “Touka-sama scared Hashirama-sama while he was carrying a box full of, uh, something, and Hashirama-sama dropped them. Mito-sama told us to warn you before the Academy blew up.”   
  
Tobirama blanches, “Hashirama, you said?”   
  
With Izumo's confused nod, Tobirama calles his magic in a powerful wave and disappears with a flash, hoping that no one died.

 

( _ Yet, _ he adds in his mind, because with Hashirama there, there's no way this’ll end peacefully.)   
  
\--

 

“Tobi, I didn't know Touka was there! I'm so sorry-”   
  
Tobirama tries to focus on Hashirama's words, but he memorized them perfectly after all those times Hashirama repeated them to him, they are boring to hear. “Brother, I understand.”   
  
And he really does. This is not the first time Hashirama did something like this, and after one point, Tobirama just expects these results as a necessary damage that comes with his big brother.   
  
Gods forgive him, it’s package deal. He can’t get one without the other.   
  
“I swear, she just came up and I- wait what?” Shock looks funny on Hashirama's face, Tobirama decides. Though, every expression looks funny on Hashirama's face. Or that's what Tobirama thinks after seeing that face almost every day for more than two decades.   
  
“I said, I understand. You dropped everything you had in hand to escape from Touka. It's perfectly understandable. Many would do the same.” Without acknowledging Hashirama's relaxed breath, he crosses his arm over his chest, “What I want to know is the reason you got my potions from where I locked them away in my lab?”   
  
Hashirama loses more color with every single word Tobirama utters, his eyes big in undeniable fear, “O-oh. Well, you see... I, uh, I-“   
  
Suddenly, Tobirama's day becomes much more longer and more painful than one can ever imagine, both for him and his brother. He wonders what he did in his previous live to deserve this.

  
Though, no matter how horrible one is, they can’t deserve this. Maybe he lost a bet with death himself.  
  
That sounds much more believable.  
  
\--  
  
Orochimaru kindly does not snort at him when Tobirama finds a way to get rid of Hashirama, and keep anything from exploding inside the Academy, but Tobirama gets a funny feeling that he doesn't need to do that to express his amusement.  
  
As he organizes his paperwork, Orochimaru brings him new equipments and potion ingredients with a spark of slyness hidden behind his eyes. Tobirama just lets out a long suffering sigh and wonders when his friends became such traitors.  
  
\--  
  
Dinner time passes without any accidents for Tobirama. For Hashirama, well, he drops his water bottle on Kushina while trying to impress Mito, which ends with him leaving the room with a big lump on his head.

  
Tobirama does not count that as an accident. He has lots of fun watching, and satisfaction tastes sweet on his tongue. Or that can be the chocolate cake he eats as a dessert, but that doesn't matter. Both is fine with him.   
  
\--   
  
A plate full of food settles beside Hashirama’s head on the table, Tobirama sitting on a seat without missing a beat, “Good morning, brother.”

 

He doesn't give Hashirama a chance to reply, “I read the reports Genma left on my desk about Kawarama’s Poisons and Potions classes.” Stopping for a second to stuff his mouth with whatever his fork stabs, he abandons his breakfast completely to straighten the papers in his other hand.   
  
“Apparently, Itama bullied his way into Kawarama’s project, and they are playing with powerful seals they are not supposed to know till they got to the last part of the book I gave Itama which they did not, so please tell me,” He turns his head to Hashirama, a promise of violence hidden behind his eyes, “How did our little brothers learned- You’re not even listening, are you?”   
  
His big brother just sighs, eyes locked to the red-head a few rows ahead.   
  
“For god’s sake,” Tobirama mutters to himself, a hand going up to massage his nose bridge, “Brother, listen. This is important. I have to stop them, but according to the rules, if the Head of the Academy allows them to proceed, I can’t. It’s not safe or fair for other students.”   
  
Waiting for a reply, Tobirama takes a deep breath, thinking of a way to get his brother's attention.

 

He knows that Hashirama loves him, but ever since he got married with Mito and performed the bonding ritual, he’s starting to left Tobirama behind. It’s not that important, Tobirama is too ahead of his brothers in some ways too, but...

 

One of his first memories was Hashirama touching his shoulder, asking him to slow down. Tobirama always tries to slow down, fighting against his own protesting brain to explain his brothers anything he plans to do. And now-   
  
Now, he's the one who is left behind. All he gets is a scrap of attention from them, and maybe it’s selfish, but he wants more. He wants to see them, all of them, every morning, laughing and talking about something that happened in the classes.

 

He wants to sit with Hashirama as Tobirama does the paperwork that was supposed to be made by the Headmaster, explain Itama the notes he wrote on the book he gave to him, help Kawarama with Poisons and Potions classes-   
  


But now, all he has is his research, a few minutes with his brothers, and Madara.   
  
After all those years spent within the walls of the Academy, it feels empty in a weird way.   
  
A soft click comes from his plate. Tobirama looks down, the notes long forgotten in his hands. “Lord Tobirama, the classes will be starting soon!”   
  
Humming to show the plate that he heard it, he gets up from his seat, lightly touching to his brother’s shoulder.   
  
Hashirama jumps, obviously startled, “Tobi? Oh, good morning! How are you today-  Did you have any dreams? Tell me! I had one, I was brewing a Truth Potion and it went out of control and started eating everybody while shapeshifting to Touka. Then it started singing, they always do-”   
  
“I’m sorry for interrupting, brother, but the classes are starting soon. As far as I can remember, you have an appointment with Dai-san about the fourth grade Enchanted Combat Class today.”   
  
Hashirama blinks, “Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me, little brother!” He jumps to his feet, taking his plate with him as he bids his goodbye, “See you at the dinner-!”   
  


Tobirama watches as his big brother flails to get out of the dining hall, and wonders when will he realize that he took one of the singing plates instead of regular talking ones, but he has no intention of warning him. Hashirama should learn pay attention to his surroundings when Mito is there, and this is a fitting punishment for him.   
  
And maybe tomorrow he will tell Hashirama how he feels with the... things, too.   
  
But for now, he has to go to the sixth floor for his Sealing class, and see if his orders to change desks of the rooms at that floor from last week are done. Having faith in his students is important, so he lets himself hope that if they are done, they will be intact by the time he gets there.   
  
(They are not.)   
  
\--

 

When the midnight comes close, the Academy becomes silent, air heavy with sleep, and a quiet wonder runs around for the events that’ll happen the next day. That's exactly when Tobirama gets out of his room to teleport at a clearing a few hours away.   
  
Madara is late. That fool is always, always late. Tobirama remembers the day they met, how Madara was late to help him fight against the wolves. Instead, he had came too late, tending his injuries after seeing Tobirama at the ground with dozens of griffins summoned by him flying around.   
  
But he always comes, and for Tobirama, that’s enough.   
  
“Thinking too much again, Senju?”   
  
The voice is low, but it still startles Tobirama, his heart missing a beat. He turns around, and sees his lover, the grumpy expression of his, and hair in such a shape that it should be a nightmare to tend it.   
  
A small smirk finds its way to Tobirama’s lips, and he slightly leans forward, his hands on his hips in a way people like to call intimidating, “There’s nothing wrong with that. Instead of asking me that, ask yourself if you are still incapable of thinking at all, idiot.”   
  
Madara scoffs, slowly walking towards him. The long arms of his hakama flaps around with the wild swing of his arms. “Such a smooth talker, aren’t you?”   
  
“What did you expect me to say when you asked me to come here at this hour? I should’ve been sleeping.” Tobirama’s smirk slowly transforms into a small smile, hands falling from his hips to reach towards Madara, sneaking their way around his waist, “You should have been, too. It’s late.”   
  
Madara hums, “It is,” He tips his head back, wrapping his arms around Tobirama’s shoulder, “But meeting you was worth it.”   
  
Tobirama nudges Madara’s cheek with the tip of his nose, a soft edged, calm feeling warming his whole body, “How come you’ve said such a romantic thing? Are you dying?”   
  
A snort escapes from Madara, “Right. Because the idea of me dying is more likely than me being romantic.”   
  
“So what? We both know that you are incapable of being romantic at all. The nicest thing you said to me at our first date was that I looked decent enough.”   
  
“Because you were wearing that horrible light grey sweater of yours! I’m sure that it was originally black. You were  _ decent _ .”   
  
Tobirama can’t help but look offended, “It was always grey! Just- dark grey.”   
  
Madara chuckles, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the other man’s jawline, “And you call me the dumb one. That just proves my point, Senju.”

 

Tobirama stares at him wordlessly for a second, and then lets out an grumble about being too sleepy to keep up with this stupidness. But even though he tries to hide it, his lips twitch upwards all the same.

 

He loves this man.   
  
Madara snickers, looking much more proud than he should be with the way he manages to get under Tobirama’s skin. “Well, you were the one who started all this with calling my hair a nightmare.”   
  
Tobirama’s ears get warmer with every word Madara speaks. “I was just joking-”   
  
“I hope so, because you’re the one who likes pulling it, not me.”   
  
Tobirama almost chokes a little, but this is Madara. If he lets it go like this, that damned man will just be more and more flattered, and Tobirama can’t let that happen, “But that’s the opposite of what you told me last week.”   
  


Gods, he’s becoming more like Madara with each passing day, doesn’t he?

  
Oh well, he might as well enjoy it.   
  
“Would you look at that! I seems that I entirely forgot what happened last week!” Unlike his playful look, Madara’s over-dramatic voice fits well with his words, “What a shame! Maybe someone could help me remember it?”   
  
Tobirama snorts, “You’re shameless.”   
  
His lover only smirks, “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”   
  
Tobirama can’t help but chuckles as he bends down to steal a kiss that reminds him of one of his latest project, full of explosion, ashes and possibilities with a hint of unknown behind it, tasting steel and fire in his mouth, and he doesn’t feel any bad about the fact that he doesn’t know where Madara comes from, or what he has done. Mysteries are there to be discovered, and if it gives Tobirama problems while he tries to solve it-

  
Well. He likes a challenge anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Who gave Itama have a book named ‘Summoning: A Guide For Idiots’? Because let me tell you- it was a big mistake. Bet he blew up the Academy with Kawarama within a week.


End file.
